Sunday, September 24, 2006
It's a stressed day for me. I feel so weird. I'm supposed to be on holiday, but there're just so many so many group assignments, discussions, homework, readings, projects, individual work n all to be done.. I'm so stressed! Everyone else's back in Msia!! but me..Anyway, the reason for this post is not to complain, but to express my regret, and also my relief. I was told that one of the residents in IMH whom i've spoken to for the first time last week, passed away last night. I was S.H.O.C.K.E.D to the max! Since he only knew how to speak cantonese, I was so far the only one from the volunteer team to approach him n get to know more of him. He doesnt join in any of our activities because of the language barrier. He was really a very nice guy to chat with, so i found out last week during our loooong chat. I even got a sore throat out of it. I was looking forward to today, as he promised me he'll join in our activities. Since i was 1 of the MCs for today's game session, I was in-charge of the chinese part, and I even planned to speak a bit of cantonese so that he'll feel warmer joining in our games as well. He was the first one I looked out for when I stepped into the ward. But then I was told the next moment by one of the seniors, that he passed away dued to heart failure last night. What a shock to me! I was like stunned n shocked, n stood there with my mouth open for who knows how long! I feel regretful as I've only spoken to him once, and I feel relieved because I've spoken to him at least once. Although that only once chat, I could feel how lonely he was, and how much he yearned for someone that can speak his language to chat with him. I guess that's what made me feel so attached to him. I am so sad!!.One of the seniors told me, this is all part of life. The important thing is to grab the opportunity now! N i guess that was what got me going the whole 2 hours session. I tried my best to speak to those that were quietly sitting at corners, not joining in our games. I tried to get them involved as well. N i found another old man (lets call him C), older than the one that passed away. C was introduced to me by that man that passed away, last week that was. N I didnt speak much to him last week because i didnt have much time to interact with both of them. I had such a strong urge to chat with him today, and so I did. I asked him if he sings, and he sang me this tiny tune which ppl sing during traditional wedding ceremonies last time. I cried as he was singing. I know I'm too emotional, but then I couldnt control my tears. C is, I guess, more or less a christian. I was wearing a chain with a cross pendant last week, and he asked me if i'm a christian. Obvious answer was yes. And he started to ask me if i pray n all.. N I asked him to pray instead. Today, I asked him if he did pray, and he told me he prays only before meals. I told him that he can pray anytime he likes, as he doesnt speak much to anyone else throughout the week, not even to the volunteers on saturday, I told him that if he has anything at all to say, God is listening to him. I guess he couldnt really take it at first, but before I left, I reminded him to pray always once more, and he prayed in front of me immediately! Again I felt like crying. I waited for his prayer to end before I said bye again to him, reassuring him that God loves him. He told me God loves me as well. I think I'm tied dead to IMH. I wish i can visit them every week and at least be a part of their lives to fill a small part of their loneliness..I forgot to ask where n when the funeral service will be held, n I've asked ppl to find out. I do hope the news comes to me in time for me to drop by and pay my last visit to this old man.
