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Thursday, March 09, 2006
i have this weird feelings nowadays.. i think im going crazy.. sometimes, i feel very depressed, bcos of many things.. then the next second, i can go smiling away like a fool.. wat's wrong with me? too bored? haih.. i really feel depressed when i think of my frens.. hey, not the way u think though! i dont find them depressing ok! not at all!! it's jus tat im growing.. n i can feel my circle of frens broadening, n at the same time, narrowing.. i make many new frens.. but how many of my old frens do i keep in touch with? come to think of it, i was so spoilt.. in chong hwa, my circle of frens r all 'like tat'.. i mean, now i look back, i found out that many times, my frens tolerate me n change with me while i grow.. 5 years of sec scl, i really changed tremendously.. n i m so glad i have frens to accompany me through these years.. these happy years.. gosh, remembering those times of fun, the 'special' ways we took our tests, the 'politeness' of us towards our teachers, the way we enjoyed 'obeying' scl rules, n not to forget, the ways we really studied n studied under so much stress n pressure, i really Thank God i had frens to accompany me all the way.. well, i have to admit that i have different frens almost every year, but that doesnt change anything, each n every group of them r terrific! i really really REALLY miss all my frens.. i know i can NEVER return to those times of my life.. so that really depresses me.. i can never b in the same class with them again, never b able to discuss the 'wickedness' of the same teachers again.. oh gosh.. this jus gets more n more depressing.. but when i think of how i've survived all these years, how hard chong hwa life is n yet i can get through safely.. i remember those times i cry almost everynight in the toilet cos im very very very scared i cant do well in exams.. so on n so on..talk about chong hwa, everyone always thinks that chong hwa students are smart, clever.. but in reality, every chong hwa student has a story to tell, the hard life of chong hwa is really not easy to get through.. i really really m thankful to God for blessing me with so much, so much that i can still enjoy myself through the hard times.. n when i think of these, that i can still sit here n type away, i really feel happy n relieved.. n thank God for my chong hwa frens.. even after so long we havent met, most of my frens i chat with on9 r still from chong hwa.. haha, im those 'shy' type u see, i dont really say 'hi' to others first when i on9, cos im very scared ppl will ask me 'who r u?'.. haha, okok, i know i deserve that, as i alw do that to others.. so embarrasing ok!but despite my 'shy' nature, i can still keep in touch with so many of my frens, i guess it's a blessing? now i know, whenever i say im shy, ppl always turn away n giggle.. but im serious when i say that!! ok, i m definately not shy when it comes to playing 'dare' games, or when im facing my good frens, but im 100% a shy person ok!! without a doubt! well, so that's y i really thank my frens.. it seems like they r tolerating n giving in to me in so many ways.. for example, due to my parents, i cant go out so often.. n so, haha, so many times i promised them i will go out with them n ended up couldnt b there, they still ask me out ALWAYS.. hahaha.. so happy when ppl ask me out, cos its like they really enjoy being with me, n u know, i feel so happy.. haha.. well, i guess today's blog is on praising my frens.. i dont really know what i've typed so far, cos i forgot, n also cos im half chatting on9, half typing.. so if i was talking on smth n suddenly changed topic pls forgive me.. haha, i thk i better not continue, cos im quite sleepy.. okok, in conclusion, thank YOU all my frens! yes, YOU!!!